Nothing Lasts?

For some weird reason, I feel like writing..Come to think of it, alot has happened. Good or bad I don't really know, what I do know is I've completely lost my sense of feeling. I just don't know what to feel anymore, everything is just so confusing. People come, show love, slow down when the emotion starts to fade then leave. Some come, show love,show hate,show pain, show anger then leave. Others come, show friendship, show life but in the end they all leave, one way or the other. This was always one thing I could never comprehend, why do people leave? Is that what we built all this for? all the sacrifice, all the time, all the energy? to just walk away in the end? it doesn't make any sense to me.

I always thought that good things lasts. I always dreamt of growing old together, sitting on the park bench playing cards during the sunset, walking down the street with our walking sticks and feeling like we just met a week ago. I always thought that we'd sit down and tell stories of hope and love to our grandkids. I somehow figured that we'd figure our way out through the hardships, through the pain. I kept telling myself that 30-40 years from now we'd still be together, cooking each other meals, fishing, watching a good ol'time movie. Guess that's what it always was, just a thought, a wish that would probably never come through.

I'm losing hope, as much as I choose not to I feel like it, I'm losing it. I'm becoming numb, too numb to feel anything at all. Its been ages since I last cried, people always say crying helps to restore one's well being..I don't even have that privilege, I forgot how to cry :) I forgot how does it feel like to be excited, to be nervous, to be alive..Yes I do alot of stuffs, stuffs I don't regret doing, instead, I love doing..Stuffs that would make another smile, that is the only satisfaction I get in life. And even for that, I don't really know what to feel anymore :)

But this is life, its not about one person, its about everyone else. I'll keep sacrificing, till I've got nothing to sacrifice anymore :)