a REAL hug..:)

I know the blog has been preety dead for soo long,.Well, im here to resurect it..xD

I just got back from DIODE School Leavers Camp the other day and i decided to write down about it..All this while I was going to this camp as a facilitator, well this time round i had a chance to feel what it is like to be a camper..:)

We met in PJ at the usual spot to leave to El Sanctuary,Melaka and there were roughly 21 campers involved..Sadly tho,only 4 were girls..:(,haha..I fit in easily cos i know all the facilitators and yea, i was the camp clown...againn..xD...First day passed and i was bored to death to be honest,.Im not the kind of person that can sit tru a session in the front row for many hours...thats just not me..So,the first thing i learnt being a camper was that we have to adapt and be disciplined no matter what happens..The next day i was late,.it showed then that discipline was never part of my life...I wanted to change that and i did it..it was not easy but heck,i did it..:D

The sessions were preety good and kudos to Eric,he kept me awake through out the sessions..xD Well,let me come straight to the point...I never learnt much in the sessions cos i've been tru it before. What i learnt this time was far special than what i learnt in my whole entire life..I learnt how to feel..When we had people who adviced us on career..uncle Vincent,the owner of El Sanctuary spoke to us. He told us that life is not about saving up your money soo much that you dont have time to even count them..Lifes more about sharing what you have with another. A successful life is when you use all your senses for the good of you and others..I personally loved this quote he gave us,' nowadays,people look but they dont really see...they hear but they dont really listen..they touch but they dont really feel'...I think that is really true and i promised myself i wont do that mistake and let life pass me by..

One other thing I learnt was that sadly, all my life...noo one really gave me a hug..when i say a hugg,i mean a REAL one..I normally do get hugged by people but it was noo big deal...it was 'just-another-hug'...Cross the line this time was tougher for me because i wanted to be honest..really brutally honest and when Sandy told us to write down the stuffs we wished we could go back and chnge I took time to really think of it and write it down..And when she asked us to throw it away and say,' I can be better than this' I said to myself im not gona do this...Cos there are alot of things i keep inside..alot of anger,hatred alot of stuffs that i blame myself for..That made me lose faith in me..All this while, i see myself as an average joe,a good for nothing person who is a dead weight to his family...i never thought i would make it in life and somethings happening around me affirmed it...On the outside,I was just acting, on the inside, bleeding..I made the stand in the end to tear the piece of paper and make my commitment.,when i said,' I can be better than this', i felt i was lying to myself and i was really angry, confused and i didnt know what to do..i left to the toilet and cried,..after a few minutes i got out and acted like nothing happend...its been years since i saw tears rolling from my eyes...i wiped my tears and came bck into the hall and Sandy told us to hug each other..I went around hugging everyone like i really meant it bt i never felt a connection until John came and hugged me..I dont know if you'll ever read this bt John,..i have alot of older guys who i consider brother here but instead of giving me a hug they give me a helmet, instead of an assurance i get a glass of whiskey...but what i got from you the other day,.the hug...i felt i was loved,i was accepted and that i had a big brother who really cared about how i felt...I couldnt help myself so i broke down,.i was trying soo hard not to cry bt i couldnt do anythng..that was the first REAL hug i ever got and it felt good..I knew the meaning of family that very moment,.and i said to myself everytime i hug someone..im gona give them a REAL hug...cos i know there are many out there that needs that hug, that assurance to continue living..

After that session, John told that after hugging someone he broke down aswell..I dont know who it is but when he said those words,tears rolled from my eyes again..i felt lighter and moree released,.and i got a bonus...another REAL hug from Sandy..:)..i dont know if they even know what these little things mean to me and that nite i knew where i belong..Leaderonomics is not just a company,its a family and im privileged to be part of it...I made a decision that day that no matter what i do i would always come back home to Leaderonomics and help them out in changing the world..

Another thing that was different this time was we ended up with only 3 people in my team..

Ginger had to leave and then Kevin Edwin left then unfortunately Patrick hd to leave as well..bt the remainder of us..me,Panda and Alvis stuck together and did everythng we could in DIODE nite and instead of giving up,we gave em a fight..:)

DIODE SLC 2010 is definately a life changing experience and for those who didnt come, i hate to say this...but its your lost..:)