The Lorry Driver's son

Its been ages since I last blogged and lets just say i got tired of blogging..haaha,.Now I'm back in the mood to blog so im gona blog about something I've soo long wanted to tell..:)

Life took another twist when I helped my dad with his work as I was basically doing nothing..xD Let me introduce my dad, he is not very old but he works preety hard for a man his age..A totally down to earth man and i am thankful that i have him as my dad..I always was and will be proud to have a dad like you..:)..My dad drives a 3 ton lorry and he delivers goods for Siemens..When I say goods, it means chemical products..

So, my first day at work..dad woke me up and told me to wear some bigg clothes which are not to be used anymore...I got dressed up (man,i looked funnyy) and followed him to Shah Alam to load the goods..There were about 24 colummns of chemical water the first day with each weighing up to 120 kg..Bloody heavyyy.!!!

Bt I had noo choice, helping my dad was more of a necessity at that point of time..After loading all the goods we had to leave to Melaka to unload...Travelling in the lorry was not like travelling in the car..there was no aircond,bumpy all the way and it was freaking hoottttttt...We unloaded all the stuffs and got back home..Preety tiring but it was just the first day,..The best part was it got harder everytime i went..

During this 1 month, my relationship with dad became stronger than ever..we used to talk, joke, argue and work together..All those things he told me whether it was about girls or life, everything made complete sense and sometimes i was like 'daddyy, you dont have to tell that'..xD..Well, you preety much will talk about anythng when your in the lorry with no music player for 3 hours..xD

There were a few things I learned during that period...Dad taught me the hard way of life and that everyone deserves the same amount of respect..from a manager to a cleaner perhaps, you got to respect them..Work was always dirty, especially when it rains. Noo complains were allowed and dad told me that when it comes to work you work...rain or shine,dirty or clean..One of a few important lessons il ever learn..And to lift up a 120 kg colummn is never near the word easy. Dad taught me to work as a team, to use all our strengths for the best of everyone..I put on extra weight when i was working with him and i was getting darker..bt I didnt bother cos when you have to work, you work..nothing else matters :)

I wouldnt say I loved my job but then sometimes you gotta do wat you've gotta do..I knew my dad couldnt do this work himself and he definately needs help. But dad being himself, rarely asks for any help..I see alot of guys from church and other places and I can bet they dont quite know hardship..They are veryyy much pampered..I dont envy them tho, I pity them actually..Dad always tells me..real men are not born real men..they are made into the men they become through hardship and pain..We were preety much well to do ouselves when we were at Klang but after moving to Kajang, things were never the same..I wouldn't blame anybody tho..I believe that God is teaching us something new..

I learned that during times of trouble like this, the family gets closer than ever and you may not be in the best shape financially...but deep inside, you got that sense of joy..you know that amidst of all the hardship, there is a sense of hope if we stick together..Thats why I love to tell that I have the best family aroundd..I definately couldnt ask for more..:)

And dad got a new job..a much easier one with much more salaryy..cant wait to take his new lorry for a spin..;)

a REAL hug..:)

I know the blog has been preety dead for soo long,.Well, im here to resurect it..xD

I just got back from DIODE School Leavers Camp the other day and i decided to write down about it..All this while I was going to this camp as a facilitator, well this time round i had a chance to feel what it is like to be a camper..:)

We met in PJ at the usual spot to leave to El Sanctuary,Melaka and there were roughly 21 campers involved..Sadly tho,only 4 were girls..:(,haha..I fit in easily cos i know all the facilitators and yea, i was the camp clown...againn..xD...First day passed and i was bored to death to be honest,.Im not the kind of person that can sit tru a session in the front row for many hours...thats just not me..So,the first thing i learnt being a camper was that we have to adapt and be disciplined no matter what happens..The next day i was late,.it showed then that discipline was never part of my life...I wanted to change that and i did it..it was not easy but heck,i did it..:D

The sessions were preety good and kudos to Eric,he kept me awake through out the sessions..xD Well,let me come straight to the point...I never learnt much in the sessions cos i've been tru it before. What i learnt this time was far special than what i learnt in my whole entire life..I learnt how to feel..When we had people who adviced us on career..uncle Vincent,the owner of El Sanctuary spoke to us. He told us that life is not about saving up your money soo much that you dont have time to even count them..Lifes more about sharing what you have with another. A successful life is when you use all your senses for the good of you and others..I personally loved this quote he gave us,' nowadays,people look but they dont really see...they hear but they dont really listen..they touch but they dont really feel'...I think that is really true and i promised myself i wont do that mistake and let life pass me by..

One other thing I learnt was that sadly, all my life...noo one really gave me a hug..when i say a hugg,i mean a REAL one..I normally do get hugged by people but it was noo big deal...it was 'just-another-hug'...Cross the line this time was tougher for me because i wanted to be honest..really brutally honest and when Sandy told us to write down the stuffs we wished we could go back and chnge I took time to really think of it and write it down..And when she asked us to throw it away and say,' I can be better than this' I said to myself im not gona do this...Cos there are alot of things i keep inside..alot of anger,hatred alot of stuffs that i blame myself for..That made me lose faith in me..All this while, i see myself as an average joe,a good for nothing person who is a dead weight to his family...i never thought i would make it in life and somethings happening around me affirmed it...On the outside,I was just acting, on the inside, bleeding..I made the stand in the end to tear the piece of paper and make my commitment.,when i said,' I can be better than this', i felt i was lying to myself and i was really angry, confused and i didnt know what to do..i left to the toilet and cried,..after a few minutes i got out and acted like nothing happend...its been years since i saw tears rolling from my eyes...i wiped my tears and came bck into the hall and Sandy told us to hug each other..I went around hugging everyone like i really meant it bt i never felt a connection until John came and hugged me..I dont know if you'll ever read this bt John,..i have alot of older guys who i consider brother here but instead of giving me a hug they give me a helmet, instead of an assurance i get a glass of whiskey...but what i got from you the other day,.the hug...i felt i was loved,i was accepted and that i had a big brother who really cared about how i felt...I couldnt help myself so i broke down,.i was trying soo hard not to cry bt i couldnt do anythng..that was the first REAL hug i ever got and it felt good..I knew the meaning of family that very moment,.and i said to myself everytime i hug someone..im gona give them a REAL hug...cos i know there are many out there that needs that hug, that assurance to continue living..

After that session, John told that after hugging someone he broke down aswell..I dont know who it is but when he said those words,tears rolled from my eyes again..i felt lighter and moree released,.and i got a bonus...another REAL hug from Sandy..:)..i dont know if they even know what these little things mean to me and that nite i knew where i belong..Leaderonomics is not just a company,its a family and im privileged to be part of it...I made a decision that day that no matter what i do i would always come back home to Leaderonomics and help them out in changing the world..

Another thing that was different this time was we ended up with only 3 people in my team..

Ginger had to leave and then Kevin Edwin left then unfortunately Patrick hd to leave as well..bt the remainder of us..me,Panda and Alvis stuck together and did everythng we could in DIODE nite and instead of giving up,we gave em a fight..:)

DIODE SLC 2010 is definately a life changing experience and for those who didnt come, i hate to say this...but its your lost..:)

im screwed...!!! for a reason

Im sick of being screwed up..no matter how much i argue that i am satisfied with my life being screwed up, deep within i know there is an empty void that always leave me wanting for more..im just sick of having this feeling, and i believe its high time for me to leave everything behind and start living the life God wants me to live...i know il miss all those things il leave behind, but if thats the thing He wnts me to do then fine...i think i got the answer to most of my questions, its jst that i dont wana accept it..i believe its time for me to stop arguing and trust Him with all my heart..:)

its funny how we sumtimes try to question God and think that He doesnt know what's best for us..its really funny cos when we think of it, He is GOD..He created everything perfectly..we dont have a better choice than to trust Him..I told you im blacklisted at church, my resolution for this year is to change that and serve the church with all i am..the church needs people like me to help out more screwed up people who needs to know the truth cos i believe that these screwed up people are the ones that are gona do great things in the future..one of the dude in church i really respect is leaving to pastor the church in Johor and after all those things he did to back us up, im not gona let him down...i believe its time, its my turn to take the baton and run..

I really cant believe im saying this, i remember serving in church when i was younger and after some problems i just got sick of serving..now, im willing to take that risk again..after all, i've got nothing to lose and i believe i have alotttttt to offer to the church in growing their ministry..some can say that im telling this bcos im really down and that im 'emo-ing'..i say yes, im sad that i didnt get what i've always wanted..bt think of it this way, God created me for a purpose in this world..im not gona make Him say that i wasted His time on me..

one thing is for sure, im willing to lose in order to serve Him..if i have to lose the ones i love, if i have to sacrifice my lifestyle..il do it,.its not gona be easy bt il give it a shot,.. i remember one wise man told me, when you do someone good, dont expect God to bless you for that deed..you do it with a sincere heart that even if God sends you to hell after you did that good deed you would not change what you did...thats the kinda life im planning to live...im not expecting anythng but im ready to lose it all...i knw im screwed and God has His reason for creating me like this..bt for now its payback time..:)

CHRISTMAS!!!!

This year's Christmas was like the best in many years..As usual, i had my santa hat on like every other year for 1 month wherever i went,.xD,.However, what was so special to me this year was that i bought gifts for ALL my loved ones,.*not all actualy*..x),..and yeappp,.Christmas shopping was funnnn..I went shopping alone all over Kajang and managed to buy some really good stuffs *i hope* for my parents, siblings and Sumita..The problem really was that i had no clue on what gifts to buy as i dont normally buy gifts for people..I therefore walked in shops and asked the salesperson for some idea on what to get as presents for them and finally i managed to sort that part out,.xD,.For the first time in my life, I can proudly say that every single ringgit I spent that nite or rather that few nytes were worth it..:),.I also had loads of ice creamssssss...:D

The sad part about Christmas to me this year was the Christmas carols,.As people say, some things are better left untouched...Im preety much annoyed at the remix version of carols that are just not-so-nice I would say..I didnt hear one good carol until Sumita called me to her church for Christmas party..It was funn,.the food were awesome, friendly people, and i kinda knew a few people there soo yea, i fit in well...The very presence of Sumita in the room was more than enough actualy,.;)..I didnt expect much though bt when the choir started singing the carols i went WHOOOAAA...xDD,.It was back like the ol'days..not much remix and the music was just Chirstmas.!!!and i was playing with the kids in church..*i love those kids, they're adorableee*..The sermon was good eventhough it was not Christmassy..I then drove home after the party and bought ice creams from MCD for evryone at home..We all ate togethr in the rainn..:D

My granma and aunt came by on Christmas eve and by that time, the Christmas tree at home was filled with presents already..I went to my dad's church to celebrate with him and later when we came back we were ready to open our presentss,.I found it amusing that i didnt get much this year..only one to be exact,..xD,.and that was from me sista,.*i noe you wont probably be reading this, but i love you and your the best sister in the world*..i didnt feel bad though cos wen the others opened their presents i felt satisfied..its that kinda feeling where we just feel happy cos they are happy...Its Christmas afterall,.its a season of giving.:D

We had service in the morning tat day and eventhough we sang Christmas carols at church, DULC's were better,..xDD..ps. i got alottt of gifts in church that dayyy...Hui Ming, Melissa, Joel, Adrian, Daniel, Katrine, Jess..thank you all soo muchh..:D,.and i got a gift from shortiee that Saturday wen i saw her...all in all,.it was Christmas..:)

Alott of people may be wondering,..where was Jesus in this year's Christmas??i say He was there as well, as He's always been...Happy Birthday Jesus...thank you for everything..:)

UPDATE

Its been awile since I last blogged and alotttt of stuffs happned in the meantime..I guess Im one of those very few people who as alot of things going on in their lives every single day. Well, first thngs first..i wana tell you about a bunch of people trying to make an impact to the world,.Gladly though, i was part of it..;D DIODE facilitatorsLEADERONOMERS guys only lahh

with some of the kids

these kids are all so special and when you see the impact you instill in one's life, its just soo satisfying..Every kid comes from different background..but no matter rich, poor, black or white we all live, eat, play and learn together for 6 days as one big family..The memories at camp will continue to live in us for a veryy veryyy longg time...talking about camp,.i kinda miss it too..:)

I eventually left Leaderonomics because my contract with them was over, however they said they wanted me to join them at camps and help them out...I gladly said yes to them..;D,.To me, these is the sole reason we were born on earth,..to make an impact others wont make,.What Leaderonomics are doing now is just that,..we go out there and make a difference,..Awesome company,..Special mention to Boss,Roshan..Hui Ming( for asking me to join),Sunita( calling me up for the interview), Audrey( youth team boss), Mel, the J clan,and all the other guys *although i know you wont see this*...it was a real privilage to work with you guys...:)

Lets move on,..after 2 back to back DIODE camps,..i was preety much gearing up for the best of it all,..365 Youth Camp.!!! Its actualy my church youth camp and we went to Cameron's this year,.It was as fun as i expected it to be and although i didnt do much it was still an enjoyable journey up the Highlands..;D

round of monkey

Anglo Saxon...my tribe,..we won.!!xD

Gladiator gamesWater games!!Talent niteTribal nite

One word: AWESOMENESS.!!!


thats it for now,..next up: Christmas and New Year

:D

Its the Small Things That Counts..

My mum recently asked me on what I've planned on my future..I said im not sure and that i just want to take a break for a month or so,.Talking about the future, its not ours to predict but its ours to choose...most people like to predict the future and try to adapt to what they think is 'safe'..Sorry to say,bt im not like that...i prefer to live in the moment,capture it all and make sure i dont lose one bit,.soo far,its been awesome..I look at the birds in the skies and i dont think they plan their futures either..and i always wnted to look at the world from a diffrnt view,mybe like how the birds above sees us..,so i decided to ctch glimpses of facial reaction and wat bettr time there is to see diffrnt people then at peak hours...after work, i put on my coat(had a meeting that day at office)went out and decided to walk all the way to the train station...its actually from seksyen 16 to asia jaya lrt station and its quite a distnce...i didnt mind though, so wen i walked past each car i smiled and waved and i got mixed reactions from people...some smiled back,some looked stressed out and sum were just wondering wat is wrong wit me walkng along the road wit my coat on smiling at them...so wen i reached the lrt station i boarded the train to KL Sentral..i then got myself a MCD Sundae Choc and went down...i took the train to kajang and walked all the way home...i was dead tired, bt it was a fun experience...i learnt sumtng that day,.i had alot of work to do in the office that whole week and i quite began to feel a little stressed out...but wen i walked out and looked around i began to feel peaceful and calm in the inside,...i reached home,took my bath, had my dinner before crashing the bed and that nyte i had the best sleep of my life...=)



Stress is an illusion created in the mind,we can overcome it if we take things a lil easy (:..there is no point after all in being stressed up because instead of making things easier for us,it mkes thngs harder..and aftr that day i began to work things out preety well,i didnt feel stressed,infact i had enough energy to go out and and hang out with frens aftr work..i also felt the way most people are looking at life just seems wrong..people just dont seem to understnd there are some things in life that you just cant afford to miss,.tke the sunrise as an instance...just sitting out and wtchng the sun rise is such a pleasure,it brings peace to the soul..these are the little things in life that people often miss out on and wat a difference does these small things make to sweeten our lives,..if only people see it that way,i believe the world will be a bettr place to live in...(:


So guys,dont quite worry about the future just yet...its not wrong planning ahead but we must remember that no matter how much we plan, we're still living in the present..lets not waste the present but instead cherish it to such an extent that wen you look back at your past from your future you'll have a smile on your face..(:

ITS TIME TO LIVE OUR LIVES GUYS!!

lets talk about LOVE...

to me..love is all about giving your ALL to the other and expecting NONE...its as simple as that,..a man once said that love is NOt about expectations, a big house,sport car or designer clothes,..a smile would do just fine...LOvE doesn't care if you're smart or stupid,rich or poor, black or white...YOU GIVE HIM YOUR HEART AND HE'LL GIVE YOU HIS!!....giving a person your heart may not seem to be as easy because you'll never know when they'll break it...thats a risk we're willing to take because if that person really loves you...ur heart cant be in any safer place...wat u hav to worry about is on how not to break their heart....after all,they gave it to you because they love you..=)

is magic real??love is magical....ever wondered how total strangers fall in love with each other...or why your heart beats faster wen ur with your special someone..or how you tend to forget wat u wana say wen u meet them....to me,that is magic!..sum people say that wen u fall in love during skool times its puppy love and it will not last...i find it stupid,.i can bet my balls that everybody will remembr their first love...whethr it ws a pleasant experience or not...they are still in ther...whether it ws in skool or workplace,.u had felt that spark wen u met them...this shows that its NEVER too young to fall in love..talking about puppy love again....i seriously think that puppies love you more than normal humans do...so its not a bad thing aftrall..;)

i dont really get the idea of coupling....to me,its NOT love..its just a trend wich i dont want to follow..you CAN love a person without them loving you bak,.some people say love is blind...i sayy BULLSHIT.!!loves sees everything bt accepts you for who you are..

love is everywhere...even the smallest things in the world are made by love,.you dont need to go buy diamond rings to proof your love...your very presence in the room wen they need you is all that matters in the end..LOVE gives HOPE, a second chance for you to grab and never let go...

i gotta go now,.we'll talk more about love soon...till then,.ciaos...x)