Nothing Lasts?

For some weird reason, I feel like writing..Come to think of it, alot has happened. Good or bad I don't really know, what I do know is I've completely lost my sense of feeling. I just don't know what to feel anymore, everything is just so confusing. People come, show love, slow down when the emotion starts to fade then leave. Some come, show love,show hate,show pain, show anger then leave. Others come, show friendship, show life but in the end they all leave, one way or the other. This was always one thing I could never comprehend, why do people leave? Is that what we built all this for? all the sacrifice, all the time, all the energy? to just walk away in the end? it doesn't make any sense to me.

I always thought that good things lasts. I always dreamt of growing old together, sitting on the park bench playing cards during the sunset, walking down the street with our walking sticks and feeling like we just met a week ago. I always thought that we'd sit down and tell stories of hope and love to our grandkids. I somehow figured that we'd figure our way out through the hardships, through the pain. I kept telling myself that 30-40 years from now we'd still be together, cooking each other meals, fishing, watching a good ol'time movie. Guess that's what it always was, just a thought, a wish that would probably never come through.

I'm losing hope, as much as I choose not to I feel like it, I'm losing it. I'm becoming numb, too numb to feel anything at all. Its been ages since I last cried, people always say crying helps to restore one's well being..I don't even have that privilege, I forgot how to cry :) I forgot how does it feel like to be excited, to be nervous, to be alive..Yes I do alot of stuffs, stuffs I don't regret doing, instead, I love doing..Stuffs that would make another smile, that is the only satisfaction I get in life. And even for that, I don't really know what to feel anymore :)

But this is life, its not about one person, its about everyone else. I'll keep sacrificing, till I've got nothing to sacrifice anymore :)

:)

Sometimes, the words left unspoken are the most important words..sometimes, the eyes scream out what the mouth won't say :)

Perspective

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. Rebels. Troublemakers. Round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do", says the man who changed the world - RIP Steve Job.

Beauty in a wreck

Sometimes I wonder if anybody was perfect, close at least? Many claim to be better than another but that's about it. Well, I gotta agree, I'm no where close to perfection too. In fact, I don't think I'd ever be. :) I sometimes feel that it doesn't really matter if a person is perfect or not, come to think of it, God Himself knew that none of us could be perfect so He taught us through His Son, how to see through imperfection. I too struggle alot in this area especially when dealing with people who are inferior than me in a certain capability but through time, I've learnt how to compliment people like this to make the most out of an imperfect scenario.

The key, I figured was to refrain ourselves from judging another person. Mother Theresa said that if we keep judging, we'd have no time to love. I totally agree with that statement, given all those lives she has touched through love. Loving someone is not an easy task. To love, you've gotta see through not only the good parts but also the ugly ones, the ones people normally choose to ignore. This will lead to wholesome love and what a difference does love make in one's life, come to think about it, if there's one thing people would want the most in life, it would be to be loved, not for who we see them to be but for who they really are :)

Why am I talking about this now you may ask, well I've been helping out a little to coach a football team and I learnt that although they're not good footballers yet, they have a veryy good heart. We lost a game on Saturday and we spoke a little about our expectation and stuff like that but what really hit me was their commitment to the team, to one another, to me. I know alot of people look up to me but I always brush it off, choosing to ignore them instead of helping them. I always thought that there was always someone better who could help them but I guess I thought wrong. These guys just seemed to be so attached even in this short period and I know deep inside, I could make a difference, not only as their coach but as a brother, a friend who would not pass judgement but will accept them for who they are and will aspire them to be better. :) Just pray that these guys will turn out to be not just awesome footballers but also awesome men la, that'll will be my biggest wish for them :)

As for me, life is good, apart from a few things that been happening. Sometimes, I wish someone would just look me in the eyes and know that something is not right. Sometimes, I wish no one would notice. Confusion they say is tough, but having someone there for me who is willing to walk with me through all this is just priceless and thank God, I've got that person. That person where I can go anywhere with, eat anything, talk anything with and not having that feeling of being judged, instead, feeling accepted and appreciated for me being me. *You know who you are, I don't know what I'd do without you la, really :)

So yea, thats about it for now and if I have to say something, I'd wana encourage all those who are reading this to compliment imperfection instead of condemning them cus that way, no one is left out as not good enough :) ohh and yea, I'm losing the beer belly! next up, 6 packs! :P

Special people make it worthwile

Its been long and alot has changed :). Life has been good, people have left, people have come. Nothing ever feels the same, not that its a bad thing or what :)

*I still want to be remembered as that-guy-who-was-there-when-nobody-cared. That is my purpose in life :)

Ohh btw, I've met some real special people recently. If you're reading this, you know who you are..You may not know it, but people like you are the reason I keep doing what I do..People like you make it all worth it. :)

Bless ya'll!

Valentine's (:

I miss this place.. (: This is where I'm really me. A saddist? no chance, I'm a happy creature, always was always will be (:..Funny how people think that happy people like me dont get sad at all..you'd be surprised :)

So yea, its about me..again,ahaha. Here is a confession, I never had a valentine :) No regrets tho, i dont evn know if its a good thing or a bad thing.. I never been in a relationship, a proper one at least. Never thought I could be as committed to be in one. I am the messy, clumsy, lazy, ungentlemanly, non-prince charming material kinda guy. ahaha, trust me i am..;) People say I'm a good friend, thats where it ends...I hope I am..:)

A kid once said, 'If I could be anyone in the world, I'd be someone's friend'. I think she knew what she was saying :). Don't we all wish we were kids again? Those times when everyone was a friend and we'd fight over candies and chocolates and end up sharing it with everyone? Those times when we laughed and cried together? Mayn i miss my childhood! aahaha..but as they say, life goes on..if ur reading this, pray that i shall soon celebrate Valentine's..I've always wanted to, I just dont show it..cover macho, ahaha. Well, I want to celebrate it with someone I really love and not some random ppl btw..xD So yea, pray for me. :)


Ohh and yea, I'm doing sit ups to try and get some abs...xD wish me luck! :)

Time Flies

Its been 2 months and 7 days since I last saw you...

You probably wont feel what I feel..

Nothing changes though, you are amazing just the way you are :)