chUnks of mE..

An honest question

2012-01-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

You really don't know what you mean to me, do you?

Ignorance is Bliss,

2011-12-27T06:03:00.000-08:00

Ignorance, we're all guilty of it at some point. Remember that blind man we let cross the street by himself? The puppy that was waiting to die on the middle of the road? We always wait for somebody else to do it. It doesn't make any sense. If we are all created for a purpose and we keep waiting for someone else to do it, aren't we a waste of His time?

Well, you may ask..why this sudden rant? This is not a rant, It is something that has been on my mind for sometime now. I don't get how people are so insensitive towards issues and we all seem so comfortable playing Xbox while someone is dying and how writing an exam becomes more important than feeding a hungry man. Worst still, we bad mouth the not-so-fortunate sometimes even without realising it.

I come from the not-so-fortunate background but I gotta say that I am alot blessed than many people. It frustrates me though, when somebody comes up with an ignorant comment about a certain group of people or even a topic. It shows an utter lack of respect and its sad how the community has conformed to this as a 'norm'. Well, let me break this to you, it is not a 'norm', it is wrong. You won't know how many people you could offend with ONE ignorant comment.

I have always been the loud guy and I got into alot of trouble trying to 'educate' these ignorant people. I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of this but we all need each other to point out to us when we are being ignorant. Sometimes, I believe that if you can't speak knowledge into someone, you can try beating it into him. Let me repeat myself, ignorance is bliss..Just because you got it all easy doesn't mean others got it easy too. Just because you can doesn't mean everyone else could too.

Ignorance may seem harmless but the damage it does could be devastating, both physically and emotionally. If there is one thing we could do, it would be to be more sensitive towards another person and try and think from different perspectives before making a comment. And, don't wait for someone to fix what you saw broken..

Have a good day! and Merry Christmas! :)

Are we really genuine?

2011-10-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

Life is good, I'm writing this on a rainy Deepavali night because I can :P..ahaha, So yeah, its me again and I've been rumbling with this thought about sincerity and if we are really genuine people for some time now. I mean, everywhere I see, things are done in a structure, everything seem to have a process. For example, we normally do good to be blessed in return. But I was thinking to myself, what if the blessing quota was reduced or taken off completely? will we still wana do good? This has always been a question that I found hard to answer because at some points of my life, I struggled with such issues.

While many people tend to brush off this issue, I think this has been the fundamental thing that even God want us to fix. Many preachers often preach about how much God will bless us when we give or serve. They quote the bible and proclaim all the blessing that is stored if we do some good deed. Funny how they don't normally highlight how the bible emphasises more about the joy of giving, but instead, focus alot in the rewards in giving. Yes I agree that we will be blessed in return when we give or serve but to do it only because we will be blessed sounds a little,. i don't know..cunning? ;)

Many people have asked me what is the joy of giving, how do you give and not expect anything in return. I think most of us have the answer, its just that we choose not to look at it as such. Go out and you'll see a boyfriend buying flowers for his girl just to see her happy. You'll see a girlfriend baking cakes for her boyfriend to make him happy. Do you see what is really happening here? These people seem to be giving because they want to and not because they need to. Yes we all do know that their partner would appreciate and probably reward them but that's not the point. The point is, the heart of giving. A good boyfriend will buy flowers for his girl just to see her smile and not expect a kiss in return. A good girlfriend will bake cakes just to make her guy happy and not expect him to shower her with presents. This to me, demonstrates the joy of giving. The joy you get by giving something and just hoping for them to be happy with what was given. :)

Its kinda sad when I see people treating God as a business partner, I give You 10%, You give me back 7 fold. I mean, come to think of it, He is God and its not fair if we only limited Him as a business partner. The same goes to family and friends, nowadays, nothing seems genuine.. it is always like, 'I help you, so you help me back' or 'I was there when she needed me, now I need her to be here'. To me, such relationships are no more than what we have with our business people or in other words, our contacts. I also believe it tarnishes the name of Love when we do things like this.

I read about love the other day and the author was speaking about how you are actually committing yourself without any guarantees when you fall in love but you still choose to do it because at that very moment you felt the joy of love. The same goes with giving or helping or serving or whatever you may call it and this is the fundamental in living a fulfilling life.:)

So yeah, that was just my thought lah, I could be wrong. I hope you guys have a very good Deepavali! I'll write soon when I fell like it so till then lets just ponder on things like this to make sure we are actually genuine people. Say 'I love you', mean it and don't expect anything in return. Chances are, they felt your sincerity and say "I love you too' or they just smile. Either way, deep inside you know you did something genuine and you'll feel good about it. :) Have a good day!

Nothing Lasts?

2011-10-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

For some weird reason, I feel like writing..Come to think of it, alot has happened. Good or bad I don't really know, what I do know is I've completely lost my sense of feeling. I just don't know what to feel anymore, everything is just so confusing. People come, show love, slow down when the emotion starts to fade then leave. Some come, show love,show hate,show pain, show anger then leave. Others come, show friendship, show life but in the end they all leave, one way or the other. This was always one thing I could never comprehend, why do people leave? Is that what we built all this for? all the sacrifice, all the time, all the energy? to just walk away in the end? it doesn't make any sense to me.

I always thought that good things lasts. I always dreamt of growing old together, sitting on the park bench playing cards during the sunset, walking down the street with our walking sticks and feeling like we just met a week ago. I always thought that we'd sit down and tell stories of hope and love to our grandkids. I somehow figured that we'd figure our way out through the hardships, through the pain. I kept telling myself that 30-40 years from now we'd still be together, cooking each other meals, fishing, watching a good ol'time movie. Guess that's what it always was, just a thought, a wish that would probably never come through.

I'm losing hope, as much as I choose not to I feel like it, I'm losing it. I'm becoming numb, too numb to feel anything at all. Its been ages since I last cried, people always say crying helps to restore one's well being..I don't even have that privilege, I forgot how to cry :) I forgot how does it feel like to be excited, to be nervous, to be alive..Yes I do alot of stuffs, stuffs I don't regret doing, instead, I love doing..Stuffs that would make another smile, that is the only satisfaction I get in life. And even for that, I don't really know what to feel anymore :)

But this is life, its not about one person, its about everyone else. I'll keep sacrificing, till I've got nothing to sacrifice anymore :)

:)

2011-10-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the words left unspoken are the most important words..sometimes, the eyes scream out what the mouth won't say :)

Perspective

2011-10-05T22:18:00.000-07:00

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. Rebels. Troublemakers. Round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do", says the man who changed the world - RIP Steve Job.

Beauty in a wreck

2011-09-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if anybody was perfect, close at least? Many claim to be better than another but that's about it. Well, I gotta agree, I'm no where close to perfection too. In fact, I don't think I'd ever be. :) I sometimes feel that it doesn't really matter if a person is perfect or not, come to think of it, God Himself knew that none of us could be perfect so He taught us through His Son, how to see through imperfection. I too struggle alot in this area especially when dealing with people who are inferior than me in a certain capability but through time, I've learnt how to compliment people like this to make the most out of an imperfect scenario.

The key, I figured was to refrain ourselves from judging another person. Mother Theresa said that if we keep judging, we'd have no time to love. I totally agree with that statement, given all those lives she has touched through love. Loving someone is not an easy task. To love, you've gotta see through not only the good parts but also the ugly ones, the ones people normally choose to ignore. This will lead to wholesome love and what a difference does love make in one's life, come to think about it, if there's one thing people would want the most in life, it would be to be loved, not for who we see them to be but for who they really are :)

Why am I talking about this now you may ask, well I've been helping out a little to coach a football team and I learnt that although they're not good footballers yet, they have a veryy good heart. We lost a game on Saturday and we spoke a little about our expectation and stuff like that but what really hit me was their commitment to the team, to one another, to me. I know alot of people look up to me but I always brush it off, choosing to ignore them instead of helping them. I always thought that there was always someone better who could help them but I guess I thought wrong. These guys just seemed to be so attached even in this short period and I know deep inside, I could make a difference, not only as their coach but as a brother, a friend who would not pass judgement but will accept them for who they are and will aspire them to be better. :) Just pray that these guys will turn out to be not just awesome footballers but also awesome men la, that'll will be my biggest wish for them :)

As for me, life is good, apart from a few things that been happening. Sometimes, I wish someone would just look me in the eyes and know that something is not right. Sometimes, I wish no one would notice. Confusion they say is tough, but having someone there for me who is willing to walk with me through all this is just priceless and thank God, I've got that person. That person where I can go anywhere with, eat anything, talk anything with and not having that feeling of being judged, instead, feeling accepted and appreciated for me being me. *You know who you are, I don't know what I'd do without you la, really :)

So yea, thats about it for now and if I have to say something, I'd wana encourage all those who are reading this to compliment imperfection instead of condemning them cus that way, no one is left out as not good enough :) ohh and yea, I'm losing the beer belly! next up, 6 packs! :P

Special people make it worthwile

2011-06-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

Its been long and alot has changed :). Life has been good, people have left, people have come. Nothing ever feels the same, not that its a bad thing or what :)

*I still want to be remembered as that-guy-who-was-there-when-nobody-cared. That is my purpose in life :)

Ohh btw, I've met some real special people recently. If you're reading this, you know who you are..You may not know it, but people like you are the reason I keep doing what I do..People like you make it all worth it. :)

Bless ya'll!

Valentine's (:

2011-02-04T11:34:00.000-08:00

I miss this place.. (: This is where I'm really me. A saddist? no chance, I'm a happy creature, always was always will be (:..Funny how people think that happy people like me dont get sad at all..you'd be surprised :)

So yea, its about me..again,ahaha. Here is a confession, I never had a valentine :) No regrets tho, i dont evn know if its a good thing or a bad thing.. I never been in a relationship, a proper one at least. Never thought I could be as committed to be in one. I am the messy, clumsy, lazy, ungentlemanly, non-prince charming material kinda guy. ahaha, trust me i am..;) People say I'm a good friend, thats where it ends...I hope I am..:)

A kid once said, 'If I could be anyone in the world, I'd be someone's friend'. I think she knew what she was saying :). Don't we all wish we were kids again? Those times when everyone was a friend and we'd fight over candies and chocolates and end up sharing it with everyone? Those times when we laughed and cried together? Mayn i miss my childhood! aahaha..but as they say, life goes on..if ur reading this, pray that i shall soon celebrate Valentine's..I've always wanted to, I just dont show it..cover macho, ahaha. Well, I want to celebrate it with someone I really love and not some random ppl btw..xD So yea, pray for me. :)

Ohh and yea, I'm doing sit ups to try and get some abs...xD wish me luck! :)

Time Flies

2010-09-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

Its been 2 months and 7 days since I last saw you...

You probably wont feel what I feel..

Nothing changes though, you are amazing just the way you are :)

Dear John,

2010-08-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

Its been ages since i came here..I thought i will never blog ever again but here I am..I bet everyone heard of the movie Dear John..Well, today im gona talk about John, a very good brother of mine :)
If you have been following my blog, you would notice i talked quite abit of John, my collegue..Well, hes more than just a collegue..hes a good friend, a brother who you know you can trust with all your secrets..Whats up with him? He is leaving us..:)

I only looked up to certain people all my life. First it was Johnma (my granduncle), then Ps. Eric ( my former youth pastor) and Goofy (my best friend with 4 legs) ..What is the similarities between all these people?? They are all wonderful people and they eventually left me for good..:) Now John is the one i really look up to..Im afraid I might just lose him as well,. All this while I never had a best friend cos I didnt wana feel what i felt when i had to give Goofy away when shifting.. I just couldnt take another separation from another close one..I had a distance with everyone i met from then on. That way, I didnt bother even if they left, not much at least...All that were until i met John..Never thought we will be so close in such a short period of time tho...I remember him teachng me stuffs when i first went to work.,We gradually became friends and then brothers..All those advises he gave, the way he thinks, the way he treats others..Hes a good guy laa,thats all i can say...a REALLY good guy :)..

I remember really connecting with him when he hugged me at SLC..He hugged me when I felt i didnt deserve anything at all..he hugged me when i felt nobody cared anymore..that made all the difference for me. Everything changed from then on...We worked together with the Youth team alongside Yasir and then we had Rick, another awesome dude who joined us. We were soo strong together but here,not even a year into what we planned..John is leaving, im not gona mention why..bt i would have done the same if I was in his shoes..to make things worse..Sunita, another girl who we are close with is leaving as well,.Rick is not sure about his position and only Sandy,Yasir and James is left...Suddenly i feel empty, it feels like all the ones im close with are leaving..

Every morning when i reach the office, the first thing i do is go to John's table and talk to him..Well, i've got about one month to find a new routine i guess..:) We used to work and play in the office bt with all these guys gone, i doubt anyone would wana play with me.. The only reason i have left to stay is the kids..I know its gona be tough, but I will have to take the baton from now..gotta run like i never did before,.I never cried over a friend leaving ever..well, John is more than a friend to me..He doesnt know anythng, so dont bother telling all this to him if you happen to read this :)..

Guess il have to move on, tho its easier said than done,.just the thought of coming to the office without John sitting there, popping his head up from the corner when we call him is hard enough..good people dont stay in one place do they..I secretly wish the month doesnt end..I secretly hope that this is not where it ends. I secretly hope i could rewind time and make sure everything was alright..Mybe its just me, good people cant stick around with bad ones can they :)...As much as i hate saying this, Im gona miss you John.. I just hope that you do well in whatever you do and continue doing good in other kids' lives :) If you are ever reading this, you are the best brother i ever had and ever will have.. I just hope we can still work together and change the nation..:) God Bless

The Lorry Driver's son

2010-05-16T10:48:00.000-07:00

Its been ages since I last blogged and lets just say i got tired of blogging..haaha,.Now I'm back in the mood to blog so im gona blog about something I've soo long wanted to tell..:)

Life took another twist when I helped my dad with his work as I was basically doing nothing..xD Let me introduce my dad, he is not very old but he works preety hard for a man his age..A totally down to earth man and i am thankful that i have him as my dad..I always was and will be proud to have a dad like you..:)..My dad drives a 3 ton lorry and he delivers goods for Siemens..When I say goods, it means chemical products..

So, my first day at work..dad woke me up and told me to wear some bigg clothes which are not to be used anymore...I got dressed up (man,i looked funnyy) and followed him to Shah Alam to load the goods..There were about 24 colummns of chemical water the first day with each weighing up to 120 kg..Bloody heavyyy.!!!

Bt I had noo choice, helping my dad was more of a necessity at that point of time..After loading all the goods we had to leave to Melaka to unload...Travelling in the lorry was not like travelling in the car..there was no aircond,bumpy all the way and it was freaking hoottttttt...We unloaded all the stuffs and got back home..Preety tiring but it was just the first day,..The best part was it got harder everytime i went..

During this 1 month, my relationship with dad became stronger than ever..we used to talk, joke, argue and work together..All those things he told me whether it was about girls or life, everything made complete sense and sometimes i was like 'daddyy, you dont have to tell that'..xD..Well, you preety much will talk about anythng when your in the lorry with no music player for 3 hours..xD

There were a few things I learned during that period...Dad taught me the hard way of life and that everyone deserves the same amount of respect..from a manager to a cleaner perhaps, you got to respect them..Work was always dirty, especially when it rains. Noo complains were allowed and dad told me that when it comes to work you work...rain or shine,dirty or clean..One of a few important lessons il ever learn..And to lift up a 120 kg colummn is never near the word easy. Dad taught me to work as a team, to use all our strengths for the best of everyone..I put on extra weight when i was working with him and i was getting darker..bt I didnt bother cos when you have to work, you work..nothing else matters :)

I wouldnt say I loved my job but then sometimes you gotta do wat you've gotta do..I knew my dad couldnt do this work himself and he definately needs help. But dad being himself, rarely asks for any help..I see alot of guys from church and other places and I can bet they dont quite know hardship..They are veryyy much pampered..I dont envy them tho, I pity them actually..Dad always tells me..real men are not born real men..they are made into the men they become through hardship and pain..We were preety much well to do ouselves when we were at Klang but after moving to Kajang, things were never the same..I wouldn't blame anybody tho..I believe that God is teaching us something new..

I learned that during times of trouble like this, the family gets closer than ever and you may not be in the best shape financially...but deep inside, you got that sense of joy..you know that amidst of all the hardship, there is a sense of hope if we stick together..Thats why I love to tell that I have the best family aroundd..I definately couldnt ask for more..:)

And dad got a new job..a much easier one with much more salaryy..cant wait to take his new lorry for a spin..;)

a REAL hug..:)

2010-03-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

I know the blog has been preety dead for soo long,.Well, im here to resurect it..xD

I just got back from DIODE School Leavers Camp the other day and i decided to write down about it..All this while I was going to this camp as a facilitator, well this time round i had a chance to feel what it is like to be a camper..:)

We met in PJ at the usual spot to leave to El Sanctuary,Melaka and there were roughly 21 campers involved..Sadly tho,only 4 were girls..:(,haha..I fit in easily cos i know all the facilitators and yea, i was the camp clown...againn..xD...First day passed and i was bored to death to be honest,.Im not the kind of person that can sit tru a session in the front row for many hours...thats just not me..So,the first thing i learnt being a camper was that we have to adapt and be disciplined no matter what happens..The next day i was late,.it showed then that discipline was never part of my life...I wanted to change that and i did it..it was not easy but heck,i did it..:D

The sessions were preety good and kudos to Eric,he kept me awake through out the sessions..xD Well,let me come straight to the point...I never learnt much in the sessions cos i've been tru it before. What i learnt this time was far special than what i learnt in my whole entire life..I learnt how to feel..When we had people who adviced us on career..uncle Vincent,the owner of El Sanctuary spoke to us. He told us that life is not about saving up your money soo much that you dont have time to even count them..Lifes more about sharing what you have with another. A successful life is when you use all your senses for the good of you and others..I personally loved this quote he gave us,' nowadays,people look but they dont really see...they hear but they dont really listen..they touch but they dont really feel'...I think that is really true and i promised myself i wont do that mistake and let life pass me by..

One other thing I learnt was that sadly, all my life...noo one really gave me a hug..when i say a hugg,i mean a REAL one..I normally do get hugged by people but it was noo big deal...it was 'just-another-hug'...Cross the line this time was tougher for me because i wanted to be honest..really brutally honest and when Sandy told us to write down the stuffs we wished we could go back and chnge I took time to really think of it and write it down..And when she asked us to throw it away and say,' I can be better than this' I said to myself im not gona do this...Cos there are alot of things i keep inside..alot of anger,hatred alot of stuffs that i blame myself for..That made me lose faith in me..All this while, i see myself as an average joe,a good for nothing person who is a dead weight to his family...i never thought i would make it in life and somethings happening around me affirmed it...On the outside,I was just acting, on the inside, bleeding..I made the stand in the end to tear the piece of paper and make my commitment.,when i said,' I can be better than this', i felt i was lying to myself and i was really angry, confused and i didnt know what to do..i left to the toilet and cried,..after a few minutes i got out and acted like nothing happend...its been years since i saw tears rolling from my eyes...i wiped my tears and came bck into the hall and Sandy told us to hug each other..I went around hugging everyone like i really meant it bt i never felt a connection until John came and hugged me..I dont know if you'll ever read this bt John,..i have alot of older guys who i consider brother here but instead of giving me a hug they give me a helmet, instead of an assurance i get a glass of whiskey...but what i got from you the other day,.the hug...i felt i was loved,i was accepted and that i had a big brother who really cared about how i felt...I couldnt help myself so i broke down,.i was trying soo hard not to cry bt i couldnt do anythng..that was the first REAL hug i ever got and it felt good..I knew the meaning of family that very moment,.and i said to myself everytime i hug someone..im gona give them a REAL hug...cos i know there are many out there that needs that hug, that assurance to continue living..

After that session, John told that after hugging someone he broke down aswell..I dont know who it is but when he said those words,tears rolled from my eyes again..i felt lighter and moree released,.and i got a bonus...another REAL hug from Sandy..:)..i dont know if they even know what these little things mean to me and that nite i knew where i belong..Leaderonomics is not just a company,its a family and im privileged to be part of it...I made a decision that day that no matter what i do i would always come back home to Leaderonomics and help them out in changing the world..

Another thing that was different this time was we ended up with only 3 people in my team..

Ginger had to leave and then Kevin Edwin left then unfortunately Patrick hd to leave as well..bt the remainder of us..me,Panda and Alvis stuck together and did everythng we could in DIODE nite and instead of giving up,we gave em a fight..:)

DIODE SLC 2010 is definately a life changing experience and for those who didnt come, i hate to say this...but its your lost..:)

im screwed...!!! for a reason

2010-02-01T09:56:00.000-08:00

Im sick of being screwed up..no matter how much i argue that i am satisfied with my life being screwed up, deep within i know there is an empty void that always leave me wanting for more..im just sick of having this feeling, and i believe its high time for me to leave everything behind and start living the life God wants me to live...i know il miss all those things il leave behind, but if thats the thing He wnts me to do then fine...i think i got the answer to most of my questions, its jst that i dont wana accept it..i believe its time for me to stop arguing and trust Him with all my heart..:)

its funny how we sumtimes try to question God and think that He doesnt know what's best for us..its really funny cos when we think of it, He is GOD..He created everything perfectly..we dont have a better choice than to trust Him..I told you im blacklisted at church, my resolution for this year is to change that and serve the church with all i am..the church needs people like me to help out more screwed up people who needs to know the truth cos i believe that these screwed up people are the ones that are gona do great things in the future..one of the dude in church i really respect is leaving to pastor the church in Johor and after all those things he did to back us up, im not gona let him down...i believe its time, its my turn to take the baton and run..

I really cant believe im saying this, i remember serving in church when i was younger and after some problems i just got sick of serving..now, im willing to take that risk again..after all, i've got nothing to lose and i believe i have alotttttt to offer to the church in growing their ministry..some can say that im telling this bcos im really down and that im 'emo-ing'..i say yes, im sad that i didnt get what i've always wanted..bt think of it this way, God created me for a purpose in this world..im not gona make Him say that i wasted His time on me..

one thing is for sure, im willing to lose in order to serve Him..if i have to lose the ones i love, if i have to sacrifice my lifestyle..il do it,.its not gona be easy bt il give it a shot,.. i remember one wise man told me, when you do someone good, dont expect God to bless you for that deed..you do it with a sincere heart that even if God sends you to hell after you did that good deed you would not change what you did...thats the kinda life im planning to live...im not expecting anythng but im ready to lose it all...i knw im screwed and God has His reason for creating me like this..bt for now its payback time..:)

CHRISTMAS!!!!

2010-01-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

This year's Christmas was like the best in many years..As usual, i had my santa hat on like every other year for 1 month wherever i went,.xD,.However, what was so special to me this year was that i bought gifts for ALL my loved ones,.*not all actualy*..x),..and yeappp,.Christmas shopping was funnnn..I went shopping alone all over Kajang and managed to buy some really good stuffs *i hope* for my parents, siblings and Sumita..The problem really was that i had no clue on what gifts to buy as i dont normally buy gifts for people..I therefore walked in shops and asked the salesperson for some idea on what to get as presents for them and finally i managed to sort that part out,.xD,.For the first time in my life, I can proudly say that every single ringgit I spent that nite or rather that few nytes were worth it..:),.I also had loads of ice creamssssss...:D

The sad part about Christmas to me this year was the Christmas carols,.As people say, some things are better left untouched...Im preety much annoyed at the remix version of carols that are just not-so-nice I would say..I didnt hear one good carol until Sumita called me to her church for Christmas party..It was funn,.the food were awesome, friendly people, and i kinda knew a few people there soo yea, i fit in well...The very presence of Sumita in the room was more than enough actualy,.;)..I didnt expect much though bt when the choir started singing the carols i went WHOOOAAA...xDD,.It was back like the ol'days..not much remix and the music was just Chirstmas.!!!and i was playing with the kids in church..*i love those kids, they're adorableee*..The sermon was good eventhough it was not Christmassy..I then drove home after the party and bought ice creams from MCD for evryone at home..We all ate togethr in the rainn..:D

My granma and aunt came by on Christmas eve and by that time, the Christmas tree at home was filled with presents already..I went to my dad's church to celebrate with him and later when we came back we were ready to open our presentss,.I found it amusing that i didnt get much this year..only one to be exact,..xD,.and that was from me sista,.*i noe you wont probably be reading this, but i love you and your the best sister in the world*..i didnt feel bad though cos wen the others opened their presents i felt satisfied..its that kinda feeling where we just feel happy cos they are happy...Its Christmas afterall,.its a season of giving.:D

We had service in the morning tat day and eventhough we sang Christmas carols at church, DULC's were better,..xDD..ps. i got alottt of gifts in church that dayyy...Hui Ming, Melissa, Joel, Adrian, Daniel, Katrine, Jess..thank you all soo muchh..:D,.and i got a gift from shortiee that Saturday wen i saw her...all in all,.it was Christmas..:)

Alott of people may be wondering,..where was Jesus in this year's Christmas??i say He was there as well, as He's always been...Happy Birthday Jesus...thank you for everything..:)

UPDATE

2009-12-31T00:28:00.000-08:00

Its been awile since I last blogged and alotttt of stuffs happned in the meantime..I guess Im one of those very few people who as alot of things going on in their lives every single day. Well, first thngs first..i wana tell you about a bunch of people trying to make an impact to the world,.Gladly though, i was part of it..;D DIODE facilitatorsLEADERONOMERS guys only lahh

with some of the kids

these kids are all so special and when you see the impact you instill in one's life, its just soo satisfying..Every kid comes from different background..but no matter rich, poor, black or white we all live, eat, play and learn together for 6 days as one big family..The memories at camp will continue to live in us for a veryy veryyy longg time...talking about camp,.i kinda miss it too..:)

I eventually left Leaderonomics because my contract with them was over, however they said they wanted me to join them at camps and help them out...I gladly said yes to them..;D,.To me, these is the sole reason we were born on earth,..to make an impact others wont make,.What Leaderonomics are doing now is just that,..we go out there and make a difference,..Awesome company,..Special mention to Boss,Roshan..Hui Ming( for asking me to join),Sunita( calling me up for the interview), Audrey( youth team boss), Mel, the J clan,and all the other guys *although i know you wont see this*...it was a real privilage to work with you guys...:)

Lets move on,..after 2 back to back DIODE camps,..i was preety much gearing up for the best of it all,..365 Youth Camp.!!! Its actualy my church youth camp and we went to Cameron's this year,.It was as fun as i expected it to be and although i didnt do much it was still an enjoyable journey up the Highlands..;D

round of monkey

Anglo Saxon...my tribe,..we won.!!xD

Gladiator gamesWater games!!Talent niteTribal nite

One word: AWESOMENESS.!!!

thats it for now,..next up: Christmas and New Year

Its the Small Things That Counts..

2009-11-28T05:42:00.000-08:00

My mum recently asked me on what I've planned on my future..I said im not sure and that i just want to take a break for a month or so,.Talking about the future, its not ours to predict but its ours to choose...most people like to predict the future and try to adapt to what they think is 'safe'..Sorry to say,bt im not like that...i prefer to live in the moment,capture it all and make sure i dont lose one bit,.soo far,its been awesome..I look at the birds in the skies and i dont think they plan their futures either..and i always wnted to look at the world from a diffrnt view,mybe like how the birds above sees us..,so i decided to ctch glimpses of facial reaction and wat bettr time there is to see diffrnt people then at peak hours...after work, i put on my coat(had a meeting that day at office)went out and decided to walk all the way to the train station...its actually from seksyen 16 to asia jaya lrt station and its quite a distnce...i didnt mind though, so wen i walked past each car i smiled and waved and i got mixed reactions from people...some smiled back,some looked stressed out and sum were just wondering wat is wrong wit me walkng along the road wit my coat on smiling at them...so wen i reached the lrt station i boarded the train to KL Sentral..i then got myself a MCD Sundae Choc and went down...i took the train to kajang and walked all the way home...i was dead tired, bt it was a fun experience...i learnt sumtng that day,.i had alot of work to do in the office that whole week and i quite began to feel a little stressed out...but wen i walked out and looked around i began to feel peaceful and calm in the inside,...i reached home,took my bath, had my dinner before crashing the bed and that nyte i had the best sleep of my life...=)

Stress is an illusion created in the mind,we can overcome it if we take things a lil easy (:..there is no point after all in being stressed up because instead of making things easier for us,it mkes thngs harder..and aftr that day i began to work things out preety well,i didnt feel stressed,infact i had enough energy to go out and and hang out with frens aftr work..i also felt the way most people are looking at life just seems wrong..people just dont seem to understnd there are some things in life that you just cant afford to miss,.tke the sunrise as an instance...just sitting out and wtchng the sun rise is such a pleasure,it brings peace to the soul..these are the little things in life that people often miss out on and wat a difference does these small things make to sweeten our lives,..if only people see it that way,i believe the world will be a bettr place to live in...(:

So guys,dont quite worry about the future just yet...its not wrong planning ahead but we must remember that no matter how much we plan, we're still living in the present..lets not waste the present but instead cherish it to such an extent that wen you look back at your past from your future you'll have a smile on your face..(:

ITS TIME TO LIVE OUR LIVES GUYS!!

lets talk about LOVE...

2009-10-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

to me..love is all about giving your ALL to the other and expecting NONE...its as simple as that,..a man once said that love is NOt about expectations, a big house,sport car or designer clothes,..a smile would do just fine...LOvE doesn't care if you're smart or stupid,rich or poor, black or white...YOU GIVE HIM YOUR HEART AND HE'LL GIVE YOU HIS!!....giving a person your heart may not seem to be as easy because you'll never know when they'll break it...thats a risk we're willing to take because if that person really loves you...ur heart cant be in any safer place...wat u hav to worry about is on how not to break their heart....after all,they gave it to you because they love you..=)

is magic real??love is magical....ever wondered how total strangers fall in love with each other...or why your heart beats faster wen ur with your special someone..or how you tend to forget wat u wana say wen u meet them....to me,that is magic!..sum people say that wen u fall in love during skool times its puppy love and it will not last...i find it stupid,.i can bet my balls that everybody will remembr their first love...whethr it ws a pleasant experience or not...they are still in ther...whether it ws in skool or workplace,.u had felt that spark wen u met them...this shows that its NEVER too young to fall in love..talking about puppy love again....i seriously think that puppies love you more than normal humans do...so its not a bad thing aftrall..;)

i dont really get the idea of coupling....to me,its NOT love..its just a trend wich i dont want to follow..you CAN love a person without them loving you bak,.some people say love is blind...i sayy BULLSHIT.!!loves sees everything bt accepts you for who you are..

love is everywhere...even the smallest things in the world are made by love,.you dont need to go buy diamond rings to proof your love...your very presence in the room wen they need you is all that matters in the end..LOVE gives HOPE, a second chance for you to grab and never let go...

i gotta go now,.we'll talk more about love soon...till then,.ciaos...x)

gangsters??

2009-10-18T21:43:00.000-07:00

thats is wat people think wen they see us...the question is,why us??reasons given were, we hang out late at nyte, we drink,we club, we sleep late and wake up late...top up to that, some has alrdy quit college..looking at the way we live life,.you can say we're preety lifeless,but gangsters??think again....

reasons of why we do things like the above are simply because 'other' people around us are less supportive and more judgemental...to get away from all these clowns we join togthr in a lepak session and just chill out..we dont dstrb others,we just hang and keep ourselves contented..is that gangsterism??it could be,..x)

a bit part of the whole gang

we are people from different walks of life...some are richer than the other,some are smarter...bt all this are kept aside wen we chill out,we're all the same out ther...talking about 1Malaysia...we've got it strted long time ago...there is a sense of togthrness in us that normally we dont find in family..we do alott of bad stuffs,no denying that bt mind it...we do it togethr..we back each other up like brothers...talking about brotherhood..we've been ther alrdy..x)

u can ask..bt wat about family?aren't they important as well??..well,this guys we hang out with..they are FAMILY...that doesn't mean we neglect our parents n siblings..it just means that they are equally as important..celebration or mourning...they are the first there...that shows everything,

nobody really like this GANGSTER tag...we're normal people trying to live a fun live..and friends are essential part of it...yes we are not good people, no one will wana hand their daughter to us in marriage...bt lets think of it this way,..we're not that bad either, ther are far worse people...so back to the gangster talk, if you think loyalty and brotherhood are the fundamental of gangsterism..then fine, we're gangsters....and proud of it.!!!if it is not, then we're just a bunch of kids, having sum fun and doing things that some people dare not do...its all about being happy in the end...GANGSTERS??think again,..CLOWNS.??more likely,..xDD

life's like this..

2009-10-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

The way I look at life is becoming a whole lotta different from how I used to look at it....is life good or bad,?thats a question we'll hav to answer ourselves...lets talk about me,after all,its my blog..xD

im living a preety miserable life,..but mind it,im loving every second of it...i just quit college because they dont have a course on how to become a celebrity.!!xD,Malaysian education are screwed up to de max.,..its all exam-orientated and NOT practical..that is one of the many reasons of why malaysian grads are walking around jobless...soo,back to me...i quit coll,decided to take up hairstyling instead,working part time in LEADERONOMICS,likes a girl who already has a boyfriend,blacklisted in CHURCH(cos i dun wana be a hypocrite)and basically living at the moment..how miserable is that??will i ever do anything not-so miserable...well,why nott..;)

*i have just started blogging so il take time to update on wats happening in the present....till then its all about the past,who i was,why am i like this,and what i do i wana do to make it all right..till then,.;)